Deadly Defects of Defective Dating: Defect Number One

20 11 2008

Worth the Wait You may have noticed that I personally have not posted much of anything in the past six to seven weeks.  Now I know you didn’t feel neglected because I haven’t really posted anything, but I bet you kind of felt a little disappointed when you check on the blog and nothing had been updated in a while.  The truth is, I didn’t have time to do anything on anything.  But let’s say that I didn’t post because I just forgot about you.  I was too caught up in something or someone else to do what God has put on my heart to do.

Now, I’m coming back because I lost interest in that something or someone else.  How would that make you feel?

Now imagine that you aren’t just a blog reader, but that you are one of my very best friends.  How many of you have had your best friends taken away by the dating game?  How many of you have been the one who was caught up in the game only to become disillusioned with it and come back to find that all of your friends have moved on?  I personally have been the victim of the former.  But this isn’t a sob-story.  This is a warning of one of the fatalities of dating gone wrong.  This is an inevitable part of most relationships.  This defect is not as deadly as some of the others, but it causes pain and emotional turmoil that shouldn’t be an issue in our lives right now because we have many more important things to get involved in and grow in.

As teenagers, we tend to spend most of our time worrying about problems with our friends that normally had roots in the fact that our friend left us for some guy and now she’s crawling back for help.  At least that’s the way it is in my high school.  What we should be doing is getting to know God better and having a strong relationship with Him. 

People like to ask, “Well, if they don’t date, how are they going to know who God wants them to marry?”  First of all, it’s not like they are going to get married in sixth grade!  And I’m not planning on getting married in the ninth grade or anytime soon.  Second of all, if they would spend the time they spend texting a boyfriend or going out with a boyfriend or whatever they do to spend time with their boyfriends with God and getting to know Him better, you wouldn’t have to worry about missing the guy God wants because you will be so close to God that it’s like knowing what your best friend is thinking now.  You will know.  God will make sure of it.  Besides, if you’re too busy with your boyfriend later in college or wherever, you may just miss who God has picked out for you.  Wouldn’t that be a tragedy?

Why add the extra pain for something that will not last?




4 responses

23 11 2008

I agree with what you are saying. I have had an experiance like that. Where my best friend was so caught up in her boyfriend that she was bailing on her friends and she was diconnected from everyone but him. She was so blinded by ” love” that she didn’t see that it was a bad relationship.

The truth is that I don’t think teens should be dating. We teens have so much to deal with as it is, that we dont need to be joined at the hip to a boyfriend/girlfriend. I really think that we need to find out who God wants us to be and strive to be that person before we try to find a mate. Alot of girls my age are constantly looking for a guy to validate them and make them feel special that they never learn to be themselves. They strive to be the person that their boyfriend wants them to be and not who God wants them to be.


28 11 2008

I agree! Thanks for sharing!

5 01 2009

I know what you mean. One of my very good friends has a friend who got married this summer. She and her husband did not date each other or anyone else. However, once they were engaged and now married they really do put a lot of focus on each other (as they should). My friend was telling me how she felt “left out”. Just imagine how much worse it would be if they were younger and essentially just “playing around” (dating).

19 01 2009
Miss Serenity

Wow! I just found your blog and am greatly encouraged by it. Thank you!

Wonderful post. I have seen the exact things you are talking about happen to many a friend. And every single time, they come “crawling back”. Like you said, we (especially since we’re young and single) need to focus on our relationship with the Lord instead of the opposite sex.

Thanks again for the encouragement!


P.S. Would it be alright if I used you “Worth the Wait” logo to put on my sidebar, using it to link to you?

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