Straight to Romance

18 02 2009

Worth the Wait I’m really sorry I haven’t posted in a long time.  I really can’t think of anything to write.  I have thought of something, though, for this time. 

This week and last week has been very strange for me.  An acquaintance of mine decided he liked me and was going to ask me out.  So, he asked some of his friends in his English class what to get me for Valentine’s day and it eventually got to the entire class.  The class went out and told other tenth graders and they went out and told other tenth graders.  It went on and on until I was sure the entire tenth grade class knew about it. 

At lunch, my friends and I sit close to two different tables that mostly tenth graders sit at.  I didn’t want to change just because one of my friends liked me and half of the school knew it.  So, I kept on sitting at this table, with my back to the guy who liked me.  It was very strange sitting back to back with a guy who liked me, but I kept at it. 

Yesterday, he asked me if I was doing anything on Friday.  I cringed because I have had too many experiences in this and each one had ended in a broken or at least tense friendship.  I was just starting to get to know this guy and he seemed like an ok guy, but God never told me through this whole thing that he was going to be my husband.  I stuck to my guns and said that I thought I was doing something that day.  I really didn’t know, but I had no other way to tell him that I’m not going out with anyone at this time in my life. 

He looked dejected but not defeated, said ok, and walked off. A friend warned me that he would keep after it, and I knew I didn’t want to keep the lie going.  I felt horrible that I hadn’t told him then, so the first time I saw him today, I went up to him and told him that I didn’t think teenagers should be dating and that I thought the teen years were years to grow closer to God, not to a guy.  The entire time, I was so nervous I couldn’t catch my breath I was so nervous.  I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and ruin our growing friendship.

I said all that so say this:  dating completely skips over the friendship stage and moves straight to romance.  It forgets getting to know another person’s personality and goes straight to getting to know another person’s body.  I couldn’t tell you anything about this guy other than the fact that he is on the quiz bowl team and apparently likes it.  If I were to even think about going out with anyone (not that I would, I think dating a person you’ve known and been good friends with forever is wrong.) without knowing more about them.  A LOT more.  I have no clue as to what he thinks about God and Jesus except that he goes to a church that isn’t exactly being very churchly.  In order to love someone, you have to know them. 

Love in Christ,




Deadly Defects of Defective Dating: Defect Number One

20 11 2008

Worth the Wait You may have noticed that I personally have not posted much of anything in the past six to seven weeks.  Now I know you didn’t feel neglected because I haven’t really posted anything, but I bet you kind of felt a little disappointed when you check on the blog and nothing had been updated in a while.  The truth is, I didn’t have time to do anything on anything.  But let’s say that I didn’t post because I just forgot about you.  I was too caught up in something or someone else to do what God has put on my heart to do.

Now, I’m coming back because I lost interest in that something or someone else.  How would that make you feel?

Now imagine that you aren’t just a blog reader, but that you are one of my very best friends.  How many of you have had your best friends taken away by the dating game?  How many of you have been the one who was caught up in the game only to become disillusioned with it and come back to find that all of your friends have moved on?  I personally have been the victim of the former.  But this isn’t a sob-story.  This is a warning of one of the fatalities of dating gone wrong.  This is an inevitable part of most relationships.  This defect is not as deadly as some of the others, but it causes pain and emotional turmoil that shouldn’t be an issue in our lives right now because we have many more important things to get involved in and grow in.

As teenagers, we tend to spend most of our time worrying about problems with our friends that normally had roots in the fact that our friend left us for some guy and now she’s crawling back for help.  At least that’s the way it is in my high school.  What we should be doing is getting to know God better and having a strong relationship with Him. 

People like to ask, “Well, if they don’t date, how are they going to know who God wants them to marry?”  First of all, it’s not like they are going to get married in sixth grade!  And I’m not planning on getting married in the ninth grade or anytime soon.  Second of all, if they would spend the time they spend texting a boyfriend or going out with a boyfriend or whatever they do to spend time with their boyfriends with God and getting to know Him better, you wouldn’t have to worry about missing the guy God wants because you will be so close to God that it’s like knowing what your best friend is thinking now.  You will know.  God will make sure of it.  Besides, if you’re too busy with your boyfriend later in college or wherever, you may just miss who God has picked out for you.  Wouldn’t that be a tragedy?

Why add the extra pain for something that will not last?

Putting Love to Sleep: Part Two

12 11 2008

I said in the last post that I was going to share my resolutions about glorifying God in my relationships with guys with you and that is what I am here to do right now. Now just to give you a heads up, some of these are a little redundant, I apologize but that is just the way they were sort of formed in my mind when I wrote them.

  • I will not give any of my heart away until I know it is the one that God has chosen for me to marry.
  • I will look at guys as brothers and not potential husbands. I will treat them with purity and respect so that if either of our future spouses were watching they would be pleased. (This is called the “eyeball” rule by Eric Ludy.)
  • I will be careful of the effect my words as a female could have on a guy. I will not use charm or flirtations to get them to do something.
  • I will not seek complements or flattery but those I do get I will respond to with humility and grace.
  • I will show respect to the young men in my life and let them lead. I will submit to Godly male leadership.  Women today are not at all submissive.  They take offense when a man tries to be a gentleman, calling it sexist.  It has gotten to the point where our roles as men and women have switched, but it’s not supposed to be that way.  I could write a whole post on this, but I think I’ll wait a while. 
  • I will not allow thoughts into my mind that are in any way lustful, impure, or sensual, but I will fill my mind with Christ and the cross. Making every thought obedient to Christ.  This is a hard one.  All girls, myself included, seem to have this problem.  Many times I catch myself looking at a guy and asking if he’s hot or whatever.  I have to mentally slap myself in order to stop it. 
  • I will not lead on guys by flirting and charm. If there are any issues with guys liking me or the think I like them I will clear it up right away.
  • I will treat all single guys like married men because someday they most likely will be.

So there you have it. I would encourage all of you reading this to make some of your own resolutions or promises on this issue. I am pretty sure that this list will grow over time as I have more and more life experiences and know more of what I need to be fighting against. May the Lord bless you all. In Christ, Olivia <><

Putting Love to Sleep: Part One

7 11 2008

“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” Song of Solomon 8:4

If you are like me you have heard this verse a few times before. And for those of you who have read I Kissed Dating Goodbye you are familiar with this verse. We tell others and ourselves to not “awaken love before it’s time”, but do we truly understand this? I am not sure if I even do, or should I say “did”.
See I have tried to make promises a few times before that I would not have crushes and try to keep my mind off guys, ect. We all know all females how extremely hard this task is, and I will admit I have failed many times in the last year or so that I have decided to try to keep my heart pure. I admit to being a day dreamer and a curious person. I am always wondering what my life will be like in the future and I try to imagine it in different ways.
I have a very close friend that is very similar to me in this way. She, like myself is in favor of courtship and is saving her first kiss for the man she marries. She also struggles a lot with her emotions and having crushes. She admits to being too trusting of guys and just ending up hurt, even though she hasn’t given anything away physically and hasn’t even been in a dating relationship.

A few weeks ago God had made it clear to me that I needed to stop reading and writing love stories because I was falling in love (I know that sounds strange) with the men in those stories. I was giving my heart away to guys that don’t even exist and I knew that was wrong. Then shortly after that God also started telling me that I needed to make sure that everything I do glorifies Him. (You can read more about that on my blog.) I started making some resolutions on different things and I made a bunch on how I relate to guys (which with Keslea’s permission I will share them in a future post).
So when I was talking to my close friend last week I asked her to consider to join me in a choice I had made: To not give any of my heart away until I know it is the one that God has chosen for me to marry. As I said to her, this wont be an easy thing at all but I believe it is what God is calling me to do. I have tried to do stuff like this before but I think that this time it might actually work, as long as I rely on God’s power instead of my own. Also this time I have my friend there to be my partner in prayer and my accountability and encouragement.

I also want to challenge you to do this too. As I said before, it isn’t going to be easy, but it is something that will be rewarding. To stand at the altar on your wedding day and to know that the man in front of you is getting your entire heart will be a wonderful feeling. To keep love sleeping in our day and age it a very tough task, but it is not going to go without reward. And with God’s power we can do anything!

Olivia E.


I also have real problems with this.  I think all girls do to an extent.  It’s really something that we can’t help.  On our own.  That doesn’t make it any less of a sin or any more acceptable.  When Solomon sayed that we should not awaken love, that pretty much means that girls should not be all over guys when there is no way that they are going to be marrying that person, especially at age 16 or younger.  In other words, it is not time for us to date. 


Giving Him All Your Marbles

3 10 2008

In Joshua Harris’s book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, he tells the story of a little boy and a little girl who wanted to make a trade.  Her bag of candy for his bag of marbles.  The night before they make the trade, the little boy decides there are three marbles he just can’t part with, so he takes them out and puts them under his pillow.  The next day, he gives her his bag of marbles minus three.  She gives him her candy.  The girl knows nothing about the other three marbles.  The little boy has a hard time sleeping, though.  He keeps wondering if she gave him all of her candy. 

What I want to know is have we given God all of our “marbles”?  Or are we wondering if He’s given us all of his?  

Until we’ve given God everything we have, we will never be able to know God’s best.  That means letting go of the worldly attitudes.  That means letting go of the foolish ways of the world and holding on to Him.  That means getting a new, Godly attitude about things. 

In the next few weeks, I hope to go back to why I started this in the first place instead of being a book critic. =) I recommend that you get a hold of I Kissed Dating Goodbye because I plan on going through it chapter by chapter sometime soon. 

Love in Christ,


The Flirting Game

20 09 2008

 Most of us have the problem.  If you don’t, I applaud how God has blessed you.  When we get around certain guys, we tend to start to be flirty.  Does that make it right?  Not at all.  Flirting is something that we can do with our bodies, clothes, and the way we talk and laugh. 

You know those girls who look up into the eyes of her boyfriend and can usually get him to do just about anything.  The girls who hang all over their boyfriend kind of like a monkey.  Is this just your “average teenage girl” that you would expect from all girls?  Or is it something we as teenagers need to try to fix?   

We can also flirt with our clothes.  Suggestive clothing such as scooping necks, rediculously short skirts, and the like encourage guys to think in ways that aren’t glorifying to God and that make them sin by lusting.  Yes, they should gaurd their minds against it, but as their sisters in Christ,  we shouldn’t make them stumble.  When we do, we sin just as bad.  Besides, those clothes don’t glorify God.  The more you love God, the less you should want to show of yourself. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  1 Cor. 10:31

Did you know that we can flirt by how we talk and laugh?  Some girls get that high pitched girly voice whenever they want someone to notice them.   Other girls laugh a lot and really loud or really girly and giggly.  Some do both.   This gives guys a suggestive message.  It may seem petty, but you really need to be careful about what you do with your voice.

The smallest things can make a guy stumble.  Something as seemingly simple as a girl pulling up a tank top can be a stumbling block to someone.  Sometimes, they can’t help it anymore than we can when we see a “hot” guy.  It’s our sinful nature. 

That doesn’t mean we can’t do anything about it.  With God all things are possible.  We just have to ask God to take away that sinful, lustful spirit and put a pure one in.  It’ll take some painful refining, but if it helps our brothers in Christ to not stumble, then it is worth it.  It’ll also take some work on our part, or nothing will happen.  At a Rebelution conference,  Brett Harris said, “In order to change something, you have to change something.”  You can’t say you’re going to pray every night before you go to bed and then go to bed at the same unruly hour of the morning you usually do.  You’ll fall asleep in the middle of the prayer!  Of course, the change I’m talking about is on a much more complicated scale than making yourself go to bed a little earlier.  I’m talking about a change in heart and it’s going to take a lot of work and a lot of help.

With God’s help, we can do it, though. 

Love in Christ,


Thirteen Heresies in The Shack-By Dr. Michael Youssef

6 09 2008

I know I’m kind of becoming a book critic, but because this book is sweeping the Christians of this nation just like the Twilight series and is just as deadly, I thought I should post Michael Youssef’s Thirteen Heresies in The Shack.  He read the book and was completely taken in by the emotions it stirred in him, but he soon figured out how wrong the book was.  He preached a sermon on it and wrote this. 

1. God the Father was crucified with Jesus.

Because God’s eyes are pure and cannot look upon sin, the Bible says that God would not look upon His own beloved Son as He hung on the Cross, carrying our sins (Habakkuk 1:13; Matthew 27:45).

2. God is limited by His love and cannot practice justice.

The Bible declares that God’s love and His justice are two sides of the same coin — equally a part of the personality and the character of God (Isaiah 61:8; Hosea 2:19).

3. On the Cross, God forgave all of humanity, whether they repent or not. Some choose a relationship with Him, but He forgives them all regardless.

Jesus explained that only those who come to Him will be saved (John 14:6).

4. Hierarchical structures, whether they are in the Church or in the government, are evil.

Our God is a God of order (Job 25:2).

5. God will never judge people for their sins.

The Word of God repeatedly invites people to escape from the judgment of God by believing in Jesus Christ, His Son (Romans 2:16; 2 Timothy 4:1-3).

6. There is not a hierarchical structure in the Godhead, just a circle of unity.

The Bible says that Jesus submitted to the will of the Father. This doesn’t mean that one Person is higher or better than the other; just unique. Jesus said, “I came to do the will of Him who sent me. I am here to obey my Father.” Jesus also said, “I will send you the Holy Spirit” (John 4:34, 6:44, 14:26, 15:26).

7. God submits to human wishes and choices.

Far from God submitting to us, Jesus said, “Narrow is the way that leads to eternal life.” We are to submit to Him in all things, for His glory and because of what He has accomplished for us (Matthew 7:13-15).

8. Justice will never take place because of love.

The Bible teaches that when God’s love is rejected, and when the offer of salvation and forgiveness is rejected, justice must take place or God has sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for nothing (Matthew 12:20; Romans 3:25-26).

9. There is no such a thing as eternal judgment or torment in hell.

Jesus’ own description of hell is vivid … it cannot be denied (Luke 12:5, 16:23).

10. Jesus is walking with all people in their different journeys to God, and it doesn’t matter which way you get to Him.

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life, and no one will come to the Father but by me” (John 14:6).

11. Jesus is constantly being transformed along with us.

Jesus, who dwells in the splendor of heaven, sits at the right hand of God, reigning and ruling the universe. The Bible says, “In Him there is no change, for He is yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 11:12, 13:8; James 1:17).

12. There is no need for faith or reconciliation with God because everyone will make it to heaven.

Jesus said, “Only those who believe in me will have eternal life” (John 3:15, 3:36, 5:24, 6:40).

13. The Bible is not true because it reduces God to paper.

The Bible is God-breathed. Sure, there were many men through 1,800 years who put pen to paper (so to speak), each from different professions and different backgrounds, but the Holy Spirit infused their work with God’s words. These men were writing the same message from Genesis to Revelation. If you want to read more about the place of Christ in the Scripture, read “
We Preach Christ” (2 Timothy 3:16).